Written by a even dumber person
CHAPTER NO. 1
You’re a farmer. It’s a new day. The alarm goes off at 6:00 AM, and you pull of the sheets, and you’re fully dressed in overalls and a freakily faded striped shirt. Your boots magically appear on your feet, and you’re off to work.
As you come downstairs, no one is awake. But, of course, there is coffee in a mug, probably sitting from yesterday’s dinner. The radio turns on without a touch. The reporter says there’s a tornado coming. But who cares! You’re a farmer! You can hide behind a cow!
Now you’re outside. The sun is rising like a perfect day. But wait. What’s that rumbling noise? Oh-no! It’s the tornado! But wait! You know what to do! Right? Ah-ha! This is where this book comes in! Check out cp. 2 for instructions!
CHAPTER NO. 2
1. If the tornado is still trashing the trailer park, but still heading slowly towards you, gather up all the cows. Move them into the barn. Build a pyramid of cows with you inside. They should protect you.
2. Make a huge pot of coffee and dump it on the tornado. It should make it stop, but the air will smell like caffeine for about a century.
3. Bury yourself in the pig slop, the tornado will go right by you.
4. With a spoon dig underground and make your way to China!
5. Run and scream for your audition of village panic person.
6. The most effective way to survive a tornado is to PANIC!!!! The tornado will think you are a freak and go away.
