You are a Graphic Designer if…

1. You’ve almost rear-ended the car in front of you because you were analyzing a font on a billboard. (This happens to me a lot)
2. You’d rather study the paisley pattern on your boyfriend/girlfriend’s shirt than listen to what he/she has to say.
3. You consider meals interruptions. (If a meal contains bacon, I consider it [...]

WEIRD

The sentence “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
“I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.
The shortest war in [...]

Twenty-one Reasons Why English Is Hard to Learn

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there was [...]

LEXOPHILES

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If [...]

Universal truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You’ve never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone [...]

Some Useful Condescending Phrases

Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t [...]

Accidental Accident Reports

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping [...]

Courses for men and women

 
Courses for Women
Taught by men, for women.

101
Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV

102
Doing Housework Without Complaining

103
Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge

104
Going to The Washroom Alone 
(formerly Coping Without My Friends)

105
Understanding the Male Response to “Do I Look OK?”

106
Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother

107
Learning How to Initiate [...]

Why?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check [...]

60 Fun Things to Do for Little or No Money

 

Enjoy a concert in the park – Spring and summer begin free things to do in the park season. Concerts and movies are just the beginning.
Go camping – Still one of the cheapest vacations one can take, especially through the US National Parks system.
Go for a hike in the woods.
Go for a swim – Many [...]